April 21, 2005

• ABCs for the New Year
  
  We do not all enter the New Year in the same fashion. For a new
  homeschooler it will be a year of transition, a new way of doing
  things, a new routine even. For older homeschoolers, it's usually a new
  resolve to improve their performance. The more regimented among us
  would have a mission statement spelled out, all purpose-driven and
  milestone appointed. But whether by force of habit or compelled by
  circumstances, many others will be stumbling into the new calendar
  while they are busy doing other things.

  Ten years ago, we burnt our bridges and boldly went where few had trod (at least in Malaysia).
  We had decided to keep our two children at home (now 15 and 13), believing it was the
  best thing to do. You can imagine the mixed feelings we had, like the
  ones that overwhelm when you are leaving home for the first time. You
  quickly realise that all the stories you hear from friends and
  relatives or books you've read, never quite become the script you
  rehearse in anticipation of the life you've chosen.

  
  This is not to say that homeschool is not all it's made out to be.
  It's just that we are all different and we are shaped as much by the
  choices we make as by the circumstances we're placed in. Through the years,  we
  have evaluated the course we've taken, and I dare say it's like the
  ABCs: the alphabet is the same, but the letters are forming new words
  enriching our collective vocabulary.
  

  
  Here are a few useful words we've learnt:

  ACCEPTANCE
  Whether
  you're new to homeschool or not, the first thing you need to do is to
  accept one another. The heroes of the homeschooling community and the
  achievers we read about are great motivational stuff. It is right to be
  challenged and encouraged to achieve similar feats, but beware the
  tyranny of false expectations.

  The very reason why we homeschool is to
  break out from the rigidity of artificially imposed standards. So we
  ought not do the same and presume our children will learn in the same
  way, at the same pace, and in words unspoken, do us parents proud as if
  to prove homeschool right.
  
  For instance, not every child must or will read at 3 or 4 years, or
  become a music prodigy. In the early ages, all a child needs are active
  play and a supportive parent-child relationship. There is something to
  be said about what we think our child needs as opposed to what he or
  she is ready for. Learning readiness (as well as learning styles)
  differs from person to person. Of course, the right attitudes towards learning must be
  nurtured, but we need to be clear about whose milestones our child is
  measured against, and for whose pleasure we desire what we are pursuing.

  Bear in mind also that we parents have our limits too. Your spouse is not the
  fount of all knowledge, and neither are you. I cannot speak for all
  parents, but I know I am not Father of the Year material, and I should
  not expect my wife to be Super Mom of the Year. Share the load, engage
  tutors even if necessary.

  Although by homeschooling we reduce the number of variables, it does
  not mean we now have enough time to do everything in a home. Not many
  of us will have the luxury to do all things well, but by God's grace we
  can decide to pay attention to the few that matter.

  BALANCE
  Second, we should always aim at balance in our homeschool. By this I
  mean a healthy approach to building mind, body and soul. In the words
  of social theorist Neil Postman, true education must include, "the art
  and science
  of question-asking." This will come from wide reading and deep
  conversations. We must aim at becoming as familiar as Paul himself was
  (with Greek writings), and as the early Church Fathers (like Augustine)
  were with secular classics and philosophies of their day.

  Nevertheless, it would not do to develop external skills, head
  knowledge and competence without equally building our child's interior
  life. Granted, this cannot be artificially induced. But the seeds must
  be planted early so that God can breathe life into them in his time so
  the child resonates with the disciplines and passions of a person who
  knows Jesus personally.
  
  Balance also means giving a child an acceptable level of social
  interaction. Church friends and activities are good, but we also need
  to ask how else to expand our circle beyond the holy huddle. I remember
  what Luis Palau once said, that when manure is spread out, it fertilises. Pile them in one place and it does nothing but stink.
  Ministry and community service help us to look away from
  self-indulgence and protection of our comfort zones.

  CONVICTION
  Finally, hold on to your convictions. I have observed that the less
  clear a parent is regarding homeschool concepts, the more frazzled he
  or she is likely to be. Social pressures (from non-homeschooling
  parents, friends or church leaders) will shake your confidence if you
  do not know what you are doing. Differing ideas between Mom and Dad
  also puts a strain on how to homeschool or discipline a child. In that
  unhappy state, a child is not going to find an environment that is
  conducive to learning and spiritual formation.

  It's not uncommon to hear people say they homeschool because the
  present education system is 'bad.' That's a reason – up to a point
  –  but
  is this all? Because that would mean scraping home education if a new
  school opens next door promising everything you ever dreamed about to
  help your child achieve his 'full potential' (endorsed by 'experts' no
  less!). Go ahead and enroll your child if it works for you, but in
  the meantime it's going to have a bearing on your attitudes and the way
  you educate your child at home.

  A tentative "I-wish-I-didn't-have-to-homeschool-but-I've-got-no-choice"
  position will make homeschool unbearable for yourself and your child.
  If you should take your child out of conventional schooling, you must
  be clear what you are putting him into as a substitute, for how long,
  and to what end. The bewilderment over curriculum or methodology can  usually be traced to misunderstanding of means and ends, but mainly to unarticulated convictions.

  You need to be clear too that homeschool comes packaged with some
  'risks', the way conventional schooling has its own. Let me qualify
  that: we are all pioneers making things up as we go along, living with
  less than our ideals demand while we work to make things better for
  ourselves, and especially for the ones who will come after us.
  Homeschool IS viable  and
  practical, but it will ask a lot out of you and your spouse. Like
  parenting, what it asks is, what are you prepared to pay to make it
  work?

  Let me say that if we have to live our lives all over again, we would make the
  same decision to educate our boys at home. Homeschool has been a real blessing
  in more ways than one. We experienced the faithfulness of God to make us equal
  to the challenges that came. We learnt what it meant to obey God one day at a
  time, and then to leave the consequences to him. As you go along, I have no
  doubt you'll learn the same.
  

  
  [Originally posted on Homefrontier Online]
  

  • 6:59 am
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