May 17, 2005
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WHY ARE SOME KIDS BAD?
A very puzzled mother once said to me, “Why is it that some kids with every advantage and opportunity seem to turn out bad; while others raised in terrible homes become pillars of the community?”
Good question. I stood there nodding my head as this mother went on to tell stories of neglectful, couldn’t-care-less parents who somehow raised these model citizens. I could’ve cited a number of examples myself.
The fact is, environment simply doesn’t account for everything. There is something else within us that makes us who we are. Some behaviour is caused, and some plainly isn’t. Remember that the same boiling water that softens the carrot also hardens the egg. Likewise, some youngsters react positively to certain circumstances while others negatively. We don’t know why.
So the thing to remember is this: children are more than the sum total of their experiences. They’re more than the product of their nutrition, or even their genetic inheritance. They are certainly more than their parents’ influence.
They are uniquely crafted individuals, capable of independent and rational thought that’s not attributable to any source; that’s what makes them human, and that’s what makes the task of parenting so challenging but also so rewarding. We don’t need to take all the blame, but neither should we take all the credit.
James Dobson
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